I’m out. Deliberately Avoiding Your Call.

“To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born…”* Wait, maybe that’s too far back.

A lot of my life has been spent looking forward. So far forward in fact that I tend to forget the many, MANY steps it takes to get to the point I want to reach. I have never been one to sit down and make a plan. Almost every thing I’ve ever done has been due to a deep unhappiness with myself.

In 2006, when I decided to move, I did it on a whim. I knew living in Phoenix was not what I wanted for myself or for Joey. So after a brief vacation on the east coast, I decided very quickly that I wanted to move there. I had a couple friends there and I was fairly confident I could get a job quickly. Only after a few weeks of searching, nothing was coming to fruition. And then I received a call from a former colleague and good friend here in Portland.

It was his suggestion that I move to the Pac NW. So I abandoned my plan to move east and started applying for jobs in Portland. Just like that. No thought. No lists of pro’s and con’s or research into the area or economy. I was frustrated with my current search so immediately delved into a new search. Within in three weeks I had been granted an interview and then offered a job.

I was thrilled, to say the least. I accepted the job, again without any research into the company (although it’s fairly well known and has, for the most part, a great reputation), no thought into where I was going to live or where Joey would go to school. I just jumped right into a new situation, just knowing I would be happier. What’s that saying? Hind sight is always 20/20.

Needless to say I have been less than excited about the job, the city and the weather. To put it bluntly, they all stink. Big time. I know I’ve complained ad nauseum about how much I hate it here, so it’s not really all that big of a revelation.

However, over the last almost two years since I arrived in Portland, I’ve changed dramatically. For one, I’ve had several internal revelations about who I am and where I’m heading in life. That’s never happened for me before. While I’d like to say I’ve started to make plans for those revelations, that would be a lie. The major difference is that I’ve at least taken a step back and really looked at the bigger picture. And I have to tell you, it’s a beautiful scene.

I’ve committed to staying here until 2010, the year Joey graduates. A little over two years. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not long at all. Barely the blink of an eye. But also long enough to make a plan. A good one.

to be continued…

* How could I come up with something better than that? I mean, really, Dickens pretty much nailed it on how we all begin our lives.

** The blog stays. At least for another year.

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