No Means No…Except When it Means Maybe
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a sucker. I don’t like to say no to people. Not any people. Panhandler’s get me every single time. If my kid wants something, unless it’s completely outrageous, you can bet he’ll be getting it. When my family asks me to do something, I’ll go out of my way to get it done. All because I’m afraid of disappointing people, even strangers.
It’s a flaw I have and honestly, it’s getting out of hand. Lately, my time has become limited. But I still find myself saying yes with my family, when I should really say no. Maybe it’s because we’re in such close proximity. Actually, it’s DEFINITELY because we’re close. There are times when I don’t feel like my life is my own.
Everything hinges on what my parents/brother/niece are doing. I thought moving to separate homes was going to reduce the amount of time we spend together, but really, it hasn’t. I don’t blame them totally. I blame myself mostly. Because I can’t say no.
This isn’t a new problem. It’s been this way for years. I look at my folks and don’t understand how they could want to be around me so much. I mean hell, they married each other when they were 18 and 16 to get the heck away from their families. Why don’t they understand that’s what I want? I know they didn’t love their folks and siblings any less. They just needed to feel independence. I need that too. But every time I talk about it, I feel like I’m letting them down somehow by wanting to get away. It’s all in my head I’m sure. I have to work it out somehow. I just wish I knew where to start without having that guilt weighing me down.
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4 Responses to “No Means No…Except When it Means Maybe”
June 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
i thought the content in the post was going to be waaaaay different than it actually was. call me a dirty minded dude but… well, i guess there is no “but”, i am a dirty minded dude.
July 1st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I know people who have this “problem,” but I don’t I say no almost too easily. I think you are probably happier with the company than you would be without it…. y’know?
My family and I hardly ever see each other, and it kind of sucks, but it’s all we know.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Billymac: Sorry to disappoint…next time I’ll be sure not to be such a tease.
Cowboy: I think we all think “The grass must be greener” and while I do love my family and don’t want to ever lose contact with them, but I sure wouldn’t mind a bit of a break. 36 years of constant togetherness is a little much…don’t you think?
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm
do whatever you need to do. the hardest thing i learned in the last year was to say no. it was a must though, had to happen. it took a breakdown for me to understand that though …
good luck doll! look after yourself first… you are no good to anyone unless you take care of yourself first….
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