I’m out. Deliberately Avoiding Your Call.

Ever since Joey brought up the topic of his life being too monotonous, I have been thinking about how mine is the same. Every single day is the same: get up, go to work, come home, make/buy dinner, watch t.v./play online, go to bed. Except Thursday’s when we go downtown for trumpet lessons. Woo hoo! Not. Even the weekends are spectacularly boring.

Last night, Joey and I began our yearly “Band of Brothers” series marathon. And while I sat there watching, it occurred to me how much I rely on electronic forms of entertainment. How my life is nothing but computers and television. Even at work. I’m on a computer all damn day. In fact, I recently went to the doctor because I can’t feel my ring and pinky finger on my right hand. She said it’s carpal tunnel syndrome and sent me to a physical therapist, who then told me that because of my continued use of a computer and sitting at a desk all day, I have much more than carpal tunnel. My shoulders have rolled forward to the point that stretching exercises are painful. When the hell did this happen? I actually looked at my posture in the mirror after that and I am appalled. Appalled I tell you.

How did we, or more specifically I, get to a point where I felt like I could not function without a cell phone? Without a computer? Without a television? Without an iPod? How did I become so reliant on technology that I cease to use my own brain power and creative juices? It’s staggering really.

Does anyone use a real map anymore? Or does Mapquest and Google Maps make it to easy to just jump online to find directions? When was the last time you sent a “hi, how ya doin?” letter to someone that wasn’t an email? What about family games? When did you last break out a deck of cards or Monopoly to just have some good old fashioned fun? And what the hell is up with DVD’s in cars? Can you not talk to your family or children on road trips anymore? Is it so hard that you have to appease people with DVD’s?

Now, all of that ranting has lead me to this: I gotta get the hell out of office work. I’m pretty sure I said that before, but now that I’ve seen what it’s doing not only to my mental health, but my physical health as well…it’s gotta happen. With quickness.

For about five years, I’ve been researching the Bed & Breakfast industry. I’ve always thought it would be a great retirement plan, but now I’m thinking I may want it sooner rather than later. It’s going to take some major financial work on my end to make it happen, and it will probably be another five years or more before I can even consider looking seriously at property, but it’s a goal I’m looking forward to achieving.

I’ve started an additional blog to track the progress I’m making. I know, I know. After the rant I just gave on technology, you would think I wouldn’t do something like that. Just shut up. I know already. If you’re ever interested in seeing how things are going, or find out what kind of progress I’m making, hop on over to Getting Inn.

And, in the interest of my physical health, I’ll be going back to limiting online time, television time and signing up for water aerobics and yoga at the local community college. Because a B&B won’t do me any good if I’m nothing more than a contracted mass of skin.

This post is all over the place, so if you get confused, you know, just stop reading. Or skip to the end to see The Joe playing trumpet. Another video from last weeks concert. (Note: A videographer, I’m NOT)

Very few people know this, but I would love to be a professional dancer. I know their lives are basically shit and careers for dancers are iffy at best. But I still want to do it.

My obstacle: I have absolutely no rhythm. It doesn’t stop me from dancing when the mood strikes. Although, I guess dancing isn’t the term I should use. I think chicken strutting is really more accurate. Chicken strutting off beat. It’s sad really.

Seeing as professional dancer is out of the picture, and I ruled out bartender some time ago, it’s way past time to get my shit together and do something. Actually, I want to do a lot of somethings.

With the couple of classes I’m taking this semester, I’m actually feeling pretty good about where things are headed. But I need to move them along with a little more effort on my part. Effort being the operative word. We all know how I feel about exerting too much effort on any one thing.

Now, Joey seems to have some sort of ambition thing going. FINALLY! And I think it’s rubbing off on me. For the first time in a really long time, I feel like I actually want to accomplish something. I want to do something that will make people say “Whoa!” I haven’t wanted that in…well, never actually. I’ve always been afraid of failure. I’m quite tired of that actually.

Here is where the problem lies for me. I’ve spent the last 35.75 years being lazy. I have never had drive to get up and do anything. Oh, I get amazing ideas occasionally, but I have never once followed through on any of them. So maybe follow through with a dash of laziness is the problem. Who knows? All I know is I’m not sure where to start. Or even how to start.

People always say “One step at a time.” Bullshit on that. I’m into instant gratification. I want some immediate results. I’m just not sure how to make that happen. And I’m afraid if I don’t figure it out soon, this burst of ambition will leave some money on the dresser and slip away quietly into the night.

And here’s something else, I am pretty good at giving advice. Actually, I give great advice. Just ask me, I’ll tell you. But the problem is I don’t ever keep any of it for myself. What’s up with that? Apparently, I’m not only physically clumsy, but emotionally clumsy as well. I just trip over my own ideas and get pissed off because they hurt too much.

Maybe I need to stop with the ideas. Maybe, I need to invoke Nike: Just Do It. Maybe I need to quit being so freaking introspective and run with what I’ve got. See where it takes me.

All or nothing. That’s what it’s got to be.