And I feel like I’m going to throw up. It’s been a good few years since I’ve been in an academic environment where I’m not the teacher. I wonder if I’m making a mistake. I’m so nervous, it’s completely out of character for me. I know I’ll be fine once the first class is over. Pre-calculus. Could I have picked an harder class to start with? I’m such a dork.
Finally! My dad got one of the videos from Joey’s end of year concert up. It’s the first song of the night, so the video isn’t all the good since my dad was trying to get everything adjusted. But Joey does have a small solo. It’s his first improv solo and he was really nervous. But of course I think he did great.
“To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born…”* Wait, maybe that’s too far back.
A lot of my life has been spent looking forward. So far forward in fact that I tend to forget the many, MANY steps it takes to get to the point I want to reach. I have never been one to sit down and make a plan. Almost every thing I’ve ever done has been due to a deep unhappiness with myself.
In 2006, when I decided to move, I did it on a whim. I knew living in Phoenix was not what I wanted for myself or for Joey. So after a brief vacation on the east coast, I decided very quickly that I wanted to move there. I had a couple friends there and I was fairly confident I could get a job quickly. Only after a few weeks of searching, nothing was coming to fruition. And then I received a call from a former colleague and good friend here in Portland.
It was his suggestion that I move to the Pac NW. So I abandoned my plan to move east and started applying for jobs in Portland. Just like that. No thought. No lists of pro’s and con’s or research into the area or economy. I was frustrated with my current search so immediately delved into a new search. Within in three weeks I had been granted an interview and then offered a job.
I was thrilled, to say the least. I accepted the job, again without any research into the company (although it’s fairly well known and has, for the most part, a great reputation), no thought into where I was going to live or where Joey would go to school. I just jumped right into a new situation, just knowing I would be happier. What’s that saying? Hind sight is always 20/20.
Needless to say I have been less than excited about the job, the city and the weather. To put it bluntly, they all stink. Big time. I know I’ve complained ad nauseum about how much I hate it here, so it’s not really all that big of a revelation.
However, over the last almost two years since I arrived in Portland, I’ve changed dramatically. For one, I’ve had several internal revelations about who I am and where I’m heading in life. That’s never happened for me before. While I’d like to say I’ve started to make plans for those revelations, that would be a lie. The major difference is that I’ve at least taken a step back and really looked at the bigger picture. And I have to tell you, it’s a beautiful scene.
I’ve committed to staying here until 2010, the year Joey graduates. A little over two years. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not long at all. Barely the blink of an eye. But also long enough to make a plan. A good one.
to be continued…
* How could I come up with something better than that? I mean, really, Dickens pretty much nailed it on how we all begin our lives.
** The blog stays. At least for another year.
OK, before I post my weekend story, I’d like to begin by asking anyone who reads this a question.
If you have ever changed residences, especially moving out of a rental, you have undoubtedly had to deal with a “move out” clean. So, if you have indeed done this, let me ask you:
What does a “move out” clean mean to you? What do you expect when you schedule this service?
Any suggestions for a good web site building program? I’ve used Front Page before, but only briefly, so I don’t know if it’s worth it to purchase or if there’s a better program available.
